You Make Beautiful Things

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all?

All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all?

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You
     

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
       ~Gungor

Always Seeking Higher Ground,

Nora

Cycles of Brokenness

A timely repost from the Archives.....
~Nora

Remembering sins grieves, and shortcomings cripple... when you know in the marrow of your bones that if only you were more tender, more joy-filled, more organized, more gracious, more endearing, more persuasive, more something (yes, Christ-like), this family wouldn’t be scraping up against each other so painfully, and bruising each other so darkly.
  

That if I led better, they’d follow better.

 But I’m utterly impotent.

True christianity is indeed a lifestyle. It is a moment by moment lifestyle of agreeing with God about the true condition of my heart and life. Not as everyone thinks it to be, but as He knows it to be. It's transparent honesty. Humility before God and others. Nothing between my soul and God. It's a heart that is penetrated by His Word.
   ~Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Even tragedy doesn't guarantee one will have brokenness and humility.



Many times we think we are broken because we've been through "great difficulty." We've had very low times, of great grief or emotion. We've been bruised, hurt, used. We've come face to face with the difficulty of failed relationships, or possibly faced death of a loved one, maybe walked through abuse of some sort.

But deep hurts can come and it may only bring with it false humility, inward bitterness, anger, self-reliance, self-pity. For some, walls are built so that no one will know the truth of our sins, and others obsess with a morbid introspection.

In otherwords, self-love.


Many times in life I have felt broken, and my response was not God honoring. The brokenness I experienced wasn't one of spiritual brokenness and a turning to Christ for redemption... but rather one of frustration over not being able to control the circumstances and prove my self-rightness to others. True brokenness carries with it the conviction that my heart is deceitful and desperately wicked, and alone, I can do no good thing.

The heart is deceitful above all things,and desperately sick; who can understand it
 ~Jeremiah 17:9

      

Even my repentence is saturated with my depravity.





Our anger, frustration, and self-pity must finally give way to a humbled realization that God is loving us through those times by making us deeply aware of our helplessness and sin, burning away the chafe to reveal Himself to us. 

My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.

     ~Job 42:6

It takes brokenness for the joy of salvation to come. The brokenness of our will - not the brokenness of our person.

...Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me, restore unto me the joy of my salvation, and renew a right spirit within me!
      ~Psalms 51:11

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
      ~Psalm 51:17

The joy of salvation can't come if we don't come to terms with our depravity, and truly see our need for the Savior. All too often , we can be in the midst of tragedy and still not see our need for God. We must pursue repentance. We must see our heart as God sees it. And then we will see with great joy the heart of GOD! The love and tenderness and goodness of a Father.

The one soil that usually withers pride is... brokenness. Broken- ness molds our character closer to the character of God than anything else. To experience defeat, disappointment, loss—the raw ingredients of broken- ness—moves us closer to being more like God than victory and gain and fulfillment ever can.
        ~Mark Buchanan 

The Lord Jesus tells us:

I tell you the truth, unless a kernal of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.
       ~John 12:24

Life is in the grain of wheat, but there is a very hard shell. For the inner life to come forth, it is imperative that the outward life be replaced. Should the outward remain unbroken... the inward will never be set free. Brokenness if just an act, instead of a heart attitude, does not go deep enough to penetrate the outer shell of our person.

It is the brokenness of our will and subjection to His will, including everything He chooses to ordain, that will finally bring release from struggle. Faith and trust in His sovereignty and goodness, produces joy and peace.

Grief is the one pain that heals all others. Grief is the most important pain there is.
          ~Henry Cloud and John Townsend (How People Grow)

When night comes, and children's heads lay snug in plump pillows, and unbidden memories of who I've been, and how I've fallen, still sting, smart and threaten to spill from heart’s well, I slip into bed, drawing close to my husband; toes finding his... as the rain continues to patter on into the night.

As sleep lays heavy upon my eyes, I ponder, how just over the hill, wheat  germinates...sprouting through earth just before white's flakes fly, then hibernating under heavy winter-down blankets, only to resurrect anew the next spring.

And I realize that God has memories too… of a covenant written in blood, a promise etched on palms, a love that makes all things new.


He will not forget or give up on His broken ones. And His love will never forget or give up on...me.

God and Morning always brings a fresh start...

 

Every great movement of God is preceded by a season of humility and repentance and a time of tearing down walls, of getting honest with God and others about our true spiritual condition.It may be hard. It may hurt. But in the end, God will use brokenness to restore our 'first love' for Jesus.
      ~Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Always Seeking Higher Ground,

Nora

Godly Sorrow

A repost from last year since I am currently busy with online school. Thank you for reading!


I have known of my disease for a long time...this predilection towards the sinning. Though many times Healer's promised remission seemed to be in sight, I again would always dissappointingly still break out in sin's symptoms, turning away from all that's Holy, and right, choosing instead to be entranced by the temporary instead of the eternal. I come by it honestly, inherited by great ancestor Adam.  There is medicine, this disease is not terminal, and these flare-ups, though painful, are an important part of getting well, as is the acceptance that I am not completely cured yet.

  
This knowledge of sin-prone twisted self is the key to fighting sin's flare-ups along with realizing my sin is a problem for the Holy Spirit, who convicts, and sanctifies. Embracing the “I am a sinner” part of the gospel always has to affirm the other part; that the antidote to sin disease is...

                      Jesus; my only Hope

Even our tears of repentence need to be washed in the blood of the Lamb.
         ~Author unknown

Lord help me not to believe in a  half-hearted gospel by simply excusing sin, instead of turning from it.

Conversion, then, is repentance (turning from sin and unbelief) and faith (trusting in Christ alone for salvation). They are really two sides of the same coin. One side is tails – turn tail on the fruits of unbelief. The other side is heads – head straight for Jesus and trust His promises. You can’t have the one without the other any more than you can face two ways at once, or serve two masters.

        ~John Piper

Repentance and faith though are not acts performed one time to become a Christian. They are attitudes of heart toward myself and my sin. I want so much more than to express regret for sin's flare-ups. I diminish His work on my behalf when I diminish the scope of my sin.

For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.
                 ~Romans 8:13

The proper response to disobedience is not a commitment to try harder, but brokenness and repentance for rejecting the will of Almighty God. God looks for surrender to His will, not commitment to carry it out. Rather than asking church members to repeatedly promise to try harder, churches must call their people to repent before Holy God.

               ~G. Richard Blackaby

Why are we experiencing such an epidemic of open – and not-so-open – sin in the church today?... (Because) we have promoted a “gospel” that says it is possible to be a Christian while stubbornly refusing to address practices or behaviors we know are sinful. We have accepted the philosophy that it’s OK for Christians to look, think, act, and talk like the world. We have made it an offense to admonish people about their sin, either privately or, when necessary, publicly. If only we were as loath to commit sin as we are to confront it!

          ~Nancy Leigh DeMoss

The depth of our love for God corresponds to the depth of our awareness of our sin.

The prostitute's sin in Luke 7:36-50 was great, and so then was her love. When God forgives a notorious sinner for much sin, the realization of such bountiful forgiveness means the potential for great love.

A sinner's gratitude is reduced by the amount of effort he credits to himself.
          ~husband 

Worldly sorrow leads to death and despair, whereas Godly sorrow leads to salvation, because it points me toward Christ.

God help me to...
                           “repent of my repentance."




A LENTEN PRAYER:

O God of Grace,
Thou hast imputed my sin to my substitute,
and hast imputed His righteousness to my soul,
clothing me with a bridegroom’s robe, decking me with jewels of holiness.
But in my Christian walk I am still in rags;
my best prayers are stained with sin;
my penitential tears are so much impurity;
my confessions of wrong are so many aggravations of sin;
my receiving the Spirit is tinctured with selfishness.
I need to repent of my repentance;
I need my tears to be washed;
I have no robe to bring to cover my sins,
no loom to weave my own righteousness.
I am always standing clothed in filthy garments,
and by grace am always receiving change of raiment,
for Thou dost always justify the ungodly…
Grant me never to lose sight of
the exceeding sinfulness of sin,
the exceeding righteousness of salvation,
the exceeding glory of Christ,
the exceeding beauty of holiness,
the exceeding wonder of grace.
   ~from the Valley of Vision, A puritan prayer book

    Always Seeking Higher Ground,


    Nora

Lessons from the Dirt

I've got a patch of weeds growing in the corner of my lovely garden...Even though I know its ultimate goal is to take over all the good things that are flourishing there, I just keep trimming it back over and over and over again... instead of completely digging it out by the roots. Mostly because sometimes...

                   it has such a pretty little flower on it.

 Doesn't that make it worth the risk of keeping it?

Your life as a Christian is seemingly full of Christ and there is no room for self, but an aggressive sin comes in and wiggles his way in, crowding out Christ just a little bit. You give place to this sin and soon another does the same thing. Sin by sin, error by error, selfishness by selfishness, the backsliding continues until you are virtually empty of Christ and full of self.

             ~Richard Owen Roberts

Familiarity with vice does not produce disgust, it produces attachment.

            ~John MacArthur

If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up?And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.
       ~Genesis 4:7 

Always Seeking Higher Ground,


Nora

Spring Cleaning of the Heart

Insulated curtains are pulled back to welcome in long awaited sunshine revealing, to much dismay, layers of dust coating light starved home.

There is so much that goes unnoticed during the dark, short days of winter. So much that cannot be ignored...

             once illuminated.

                 
          Once again it is time for Spring cleaning.

This year, it has become clear that my home wasn't the only thing that took on an extra layer of gunk during the dark winter months.

My attitudes, my heart... my soul has an extra layer of dust and dirt. I realize cleaning out closets and vacuuming under furniture while worth the effort, will only last for a season...


         but spiritual cleansing could last for eternity.


Just as the sun has illuminated the hidden spots in my home that has accumulated dirt and dust, so too during this season of lent, I must let the Son illuminate the hidden places of my heart. Spiritual cleansing requires deep cleaning; it is housekeeping that goes beyond what others see and hear. It's a cleansing from within ~ inside and out.

When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD"—and you forgave the guilt of my sin. 
                       ~Psalm 32:3-5

         

Weeds, dirty laundry, piling dishes, dust collecting...this is life    

after the Fall.

Yet, in small ways, I return to Father and the Perfect Time Before when I order, wash away, sweep clean...beating back the chaos, the powers of destruction. Is this housework a picture of entering into Redemption? To bring restoration to that which has fallen?

                     ~Ann Voskamp

I want to scour, scrub, sweep... slow down the power of destruction on my heart. But I can't clean myself. Instead I must draw near to God and ask Him to do the cleansing.

Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.
                    ~Hebrews 10:22

I scrub windows wanting more of Him. Continually letting the light of God's presence shine into every part of this temporary home, will negate need for a yearly spiritual cleaning. Instead I desire the experience of a daily, moment to moment basking in His Spirit.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
          ~Psalm 51:10

It is with renewed energy that I eagerly throw open windows to air out this home~fresh breeze from the Source of Truth chases out rotting stench of self, and pity. Truth blows through cool and fresh on the face of heart permeating nooks and crannies, giving life-altering perspective, excitement and joy, removing accumulated garbage from the mind.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
            ~Romans 12:2

Minds and spirits need to be filled with the Word of God instead of the garbage of this world. It is the light of his Word that illumines and roots out that which needs to be exposed. Reading Scripture daily is the way to clean up and freshen the heart and mind. Scripture is the best way to get to know Jesus. It’s a daily discipline...



                    like taking out the trash.


Rugs in high traffic areas pick up all manner of dirt from the outside. Entryway floor coverings are hauled exhuberantly to washing machine, where buttons are punched starting vigorous cycle...dislodging bad habits stubbornly clinging underneath, out of sight, mindlessly swept under rug during winter's half-hearted cleansing, waiting to reveal themselves next year...

                   or tomorrow.

Next comes the painful removal of... closet clutter. Row upon row of bad attitudes, self-indulgences , anxiety all layered with general fatigue have taken up space that joy and thankfulness should be occupying. It's time to get rid of this jumble...

That which I once considered fashionable is outdated or doesn't fit anymore. It needs to be removed, given away, exchanged to make room for that which is important.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."
                  ~Phillipians 4:8

   I save for last, the dusting of shelves up high.


He meets me in this newly created space. Continual prayer now fits comfortably, no longer competing with that which distracts, allowing mind to keep focused on "these things"...            

                 and the wonder of Him.

And now, maybe finally... this house, this heart, is cleaned a bit ...        deeper.

For you have rescued me from death; you have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in your presence, O God, in your life-giving light.
                 ~Psalm 56:13

Men compare themselves with men, and readily with the worst, and flatter themselves with that comparative betterness. This is not the way to see spots, to look into the muddy streams of profane men’s lives; but look into the clear fountain of the Word, and there we may both discern and wash them; and consider the infinite holiness of God, and this will humble us to the dust.

          ~Robert Leighton (A Puritan Golden Treasury)

Always Seeking Higher Ground,

Nora

Re-Centering

I rise in the dark of morning, hurting. Blinded by the light, I stumble to fresh coffee made by husband's loving hands as early morning raucus signals wakefulness of unruly boys.

I'm stiff.

          I'm tired.

                I'm closed.

                          I'm impatient, 

and serving anyone, is the last thing on my mind.

More than it should, self dominates most early morning hours, when demands of breakfast and conflict mediation relentlessly requires attention before brain has even begun to function. Harsh words bellowed over lego wars continually beat against this growing wall of resistance as familiar dark cloud envelopes spirit. Again my day has started...angry.

God hath work to do in this world; and to desert it because of its difficulties and entanglements, is to cast off His authority. It is not enough that we be just, that we be righteous, and walk with God in holiness; but we must also serve our generation as David did before he fell asleep.
                   ~John Owen

The greatest temptation of our time is impatience, in its full, original meaning: refusal to wait, undergo, suffer....
               ~Eugen Rosenstock-Huessy

I truly want to use every moment bringing glory to God through self-denial with each day given, but truth be known, demands batter, and self protection daily dominates decisions and actions.  Instead of taking up cross and denying myself, day is spent in a tug-a-war trying to endlessly reclaim that which is believed to have been taken; authority, power, control, money, time, freedom, self-worth, sanity until I become...
                                 ground zero emotionally.

vices designed to protect sanity and hold irrational emotions at bay, are like layers of an onion. Removal only reveals another existing just below the surface ready to quickly take its place. Everything I do is seems to be some sort of effort to preserve and maintain self-control, but in so doing I lose self-control.

prayer bench beckons...



I retreat to escape, regroup, feel better....

        until screams from youngest pull me from Facebook reverie.

Anger again seething underneath, I corral oldest who again has hurt youngest over perceived threat, and self-interest violations, and in typical Momma (as God) lecture mode, relegate oldest to familiar spot to Time Out  couch.

Why can't he learn self-control...and how to make himself feel better before he takes actions he later regrets?

What did Jesus do? When life became relentless, Jesus hiked into the mountains to pray. He needed strength. He needed guidance. He needed to be refreshed spiritually and physically. Jesus settled in to talk to His father.
                ~T. Suzanne Eller

It is a joy to Jesus when a person takes time to walk more intimately with Him. The bearing of fruit is always shown in Scripture to be a visible result of an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.
                 ~ Oswald Chambers

When knees bow at prayer bench, remorseful son grasping stuffed toy, is finally ready to utter prayer of apology, the asking for grace from his creator...


Mom...I'm going to put my Gumby on the table before we pray, that way God doesn't think I am worshipping it instead of Him.


Wall down deep inside, begins to crumble...

          Momma (as God) begins anew in lecture mode, after all...
                                                 
                                           it's a teachable moment...


Son...that is wonderful of you to be aware of the role idolatry plays in our lives, but I don't think you need to worry about Gumby becoming your idol, it's your feelings that you continually put on the throne in your life. You hit your brother because you did what felt good at the time instead of choosing God's holy way...

Recognition hits, and takes with it wall of resistance.  I look into the eyes of my son and realize the self-incrimination of words said.

                I worship how I feel... constantly.

It’s not about exalting me, it’s about slaying me. It’s the death of self. You win by losing, you live by dying. And that is the heart message of the gospel. It is God and His glory that needs to be at the center of life.


               ~John MacArthur

I don't need to ask when this preoccupation with self got so out of control, it began at sin birth and has since been indulged with protective vices.

I believe that gluttony is as much a sin in the sight of God as drunkenness.


              ~C.H. Spurgeon

Realization sends me reeling, as son continually looks into eyes waiting.  How many hours of my day do I spend careening out of control, trying to remain in control. Hours that should have been given to the joy and service of Him. It is not the demands of loved ones, life and work that suck me dry each day, it this incessant effort to meet the demands of how I feel, giving in to all it's indulgences.

Oh to live a life completely free from the demands self continually makes every second of every day..

It's obvious. I need to make a shift in my my thinking. To re-center.

Look for yourself and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.


                  ~C.S. Lewis

Then Jesus told his disciples, If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
                ~Matthew 16:24

The cross was not a burden to bear, but an executioner’s device. A person seen carrying his cross had literally been sentenced to death and was on the way to the place where he would be executed. So the person who “loses his life” is the one who has died to all hopes and dreams that the “self” ever had in this life. He is willing to suffer the loss of everything, even life itself if need be, for the sake of the gospel. His reward is eternal life. The person who considers the things of this life more important than the cross shall lose his life eternally. He has made the things of this life more important than his eternal soul. We are either willing to die to everything through the cross and gain eternal life, or we will cling to the things of this sinful world and gain hell. Matthew 16:24 is about dying to self...not just self-sacrifice in order to find our true self.
                     ~John MacArthur

I am the LORD; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols.
           ~Isaiah 42:8

Momma (as Sinner) looks deeply into her son's eyes...

Son, God knows where you are, and where you are headed emotionally. You need to come to Him as often as you can so that you can find your way out of your selfish feelings back to Him, back to sanity, peace, and even to joy.  God made life to not be about us, and how we feel.

God does not exist to make much of us. We exist to make much of him.
                  ~John Piper 

With heads bowed, mother and son plead for forgiveness at the throne of mercy; for the idolatry of feelings, and the indulgence and protection of self.

LORD JEHOVAH-M'KADDESH , Lord who sanctifies, help me change the start of my day from self-awareness to You-awareness. Change my self-serving heart to become re-centered on You. 

 LORD GOD EL ELYON, Lord Most High, continually remind me that the gospel calls me to a life of submission to the lordship of Christ which means to a life of self-denial.

Let my name be forgotten, let me be trodden under the feet of all men, if Jesus may thereby be glorified.…Let us look above names and parties; let Jesus be our all in all.…I care not who is uppermost. I know my place…even to be the servant of all.

               ~George Whitefield

Always Seeking Higher Ground,

Nora